Six Months
Aaron,
All my life I feel as if I've been settling for something less than happiness. Making someone else happy just seemed like the more important thing. Throughout high school (and even junior high school) I fantasized about what it would be like to be with you, or someone like you. You were the all-around gentleman who brought me roses he picked from his mom's garden on Valentine's Day and who rode his bike to my house on the weekends just to say hi. You formed the standard that I held the men in my life to. But none of them were ever able to meet those ideals that you set in place.
When we graduated high school, I assumed our paths would never cross again. You were in a relationship with a girl that I massively trashed with my friends and I was getting over a recent heartbreak.
Entering college, I threw myself into the arms of the first two guys who showed interest: the first lasting only a month and the second lasting four years. The Aaron James Neighbour standard in my head stood strong at first, but faded with time. I let myself be convinced that I didn't need a man who would protect me at any cost. I could take care of myself. I didn't need a man who opened doors and visited me on weekends. I truly thought I was happy, but there was always this nagging in my heart that I ignored. Part of me knew (or hoped) that I could be happier somewhere else. But I was too scared of the unknown to act on my feelings.
Three and a half years into my second college relationship, you re-entered my life like a huge burst of light waking me up. Just talking through Facebook and looking through pictures of the man you'd become awakened me to my old fantasies of you. I spent the next six months painfully aware that the boy I was with in no way met any of the desires you set in place when we were both still kids. You had just gotten out of your own four year relationship and were completely heartbroken. It demonstrated to me what I could be facing if I acted on that continuous nagging in my heart.
When my relationship of four years painfully ended, Aaron Neighbour himself was there to help me pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. You offered words of kindness and wisdom and reinforced the ideals in my head of what kind of man I wanted. I wanted you, but I was willing to settle for someone like you.
A short time later, we’ll just say you put the moves on me and took advantage of that mending heart of mine! Thank you so much for kissing me that night six months ago. You've shown me what life can be like. I'm happy—purely and blissfully happy. Life with you was everything I'd dreamed and more. I'm so glad I finally got my fantasy man.
So here we are, six months later. It hasn't been a century or anything, but I think it's a milestone worth celebrating. I just want to take this opportunity to put down in words how wonderful life has become now that you're part of my world.
I know I've told you this many times before—in this blog and countless times in person. But I have never been this happy. Deep down, I've always been a sad person, even when I had nothing to be sad about. I'd listen to sad music. You've heard my old playlists, so you know this! I'd watch sad movies. When a movie had a sad penultimate ending, only to have that glorious happy ending, I got upset. I wanted to see the sad ending, not the happy one. I couldn't figure out why couples in public would kiss and laugh and not be able to keep their hands off one another. I read love stories and cried myself to sleep at night, thinking I'd never know what that kind of love felt like, or thinking that it just didn't exist.
You've taken my dark existence and turned it into the brightest sunrise I've ever experienced. It was blinding at first, but now I can't imagine life any different. I've laughed more in the last six months than I've laughed in the last six years. I can't stand listening to sad music anymore and I'll refuse to watch a movie that doesn't end happy. I don't even bother reading romance novels anymore. Why bother? I've found the real thing. Being with you is the best experience of my life.
I love you so much Aaron James Neighbour. You make my life so happy and I hope that I give you even a fraction of the happiness you give me. Don't worry, I know in my heart and I can see in your eyes that you're just as happy as me.
So let's celebrate our first half year together. It's been unreal. Here's to at least another 199 half year anniversaries to come!
All My Love,
Aley
Monday, October 03, 2011
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